Everyone
wants to be happy. For some, they believe that is the ultimate goal. The brain
wants to be happy but seldom really is for very long. In fact, the brain can be
quite unhappy, and even brutal at times. As I have studied and pondered the
concept of learning for
the past 25 years, I have made some recent conclusions that I might have not
believed as a young man or may have thought to be quite off-the-wall.
Experience, training, research and years in the classroom, has given me a great
deal of fodder to weigh, measure, and observe. The puzzle was always
fascinating and the journey always exciting, which spurred on my interest for
these many years. Having published on the concepts of learning, science,
education, etc. provided a framework in which to not only examine how we learn
or how we learn best, but also an easel upon which to try out different methods,
change old strategies, and to improve upon what does work and to try to avoid
what doesn't work, especially in the classroom.
As a member of the human race, I have, too, had my challenges, my
ups-and-downs, my trying to master certain subjects, content, or even skills,
in order to be a better teacher, a more productive person, and a balanced
individual, often encumbered with responsibilities and demands on my time or
patience. It's life...it's living. It is what we all face. In overlapping these
concepts of "happiness," the "brain," and
"learning," became a lifelong process and one that sometimes even
elating, and at other times confusing, if not depressing, even. It was a
professional endeavor but, as one can imagine, became a personal matter,
especially as one contemplates their own thoughts, thought processes, mood
swings, personal interests, and just the normal day-to-day activities of trying
to balance life in a happy but meaningful manner.
With that introduction out of the way, allow me to share what I
believe to be quite possibly the most profound concept that I have ever
encountered, and quite possibly the most profound concept I have ever
entertained, while drawing from the knowledge, studies, and research I have
been consumed with for the last two decades. This concept centers around three
separate but very interactive components of human life: 1) the brain, 2)
thinking, and, 3) negotiation.
The purpose of the brain is not something often discussed though
scientists and psychologists will tell you that the brain is designed for one
main task: self-preservation. The brain in a human being is first and foremost
going to seek to preserve itself, and by preserving itself, it preserves the
individual over which it has the most control over, self. There are probably a
few exceptions to this thought but all-in-all, the main purpose of my brain is
to keep alive. Most of us, myself included, generally considered the brain to
be us, "me." I and my brain are one and how could it be otherwise?
Or, could it? Most people recognize that humans are made up of three entities:
the body, the soul, and the spirit. Some go to lengths to discuss how this is
so, and some go to lengths to seek to show why this is not so. That is not the
mission of this manuscript. On a lighter side, there is the funny and
proverbial "me, myself, and I." The point here is not to argue but to
move forward. As a person who is well-trained in science, I am also a person of
faith. I accept that there is a body, soul, and spirit. What all it means I
don't pretend to understand. What it might mean is partially the purpose of
this topic and text. I only ask that you be open and consider the concept and
then compare it with your own knowledge, experiences, and even practices.
What if...we do have a body, which we know and feel and feed and
dress and sometimes exercise, and, we have a brain which was designed to keep
us alive (self-preservation), but we also have a soul that is the real me, or
the real you. Someone once explained that "the soul is that which is you
and that you see me with when you look out your eyes." Obviously, that
analogy has some problems, but the essence makes sense. What if I have
me...that which makes up who I am, my morality, my personality, that which is
most important to me? What if me (we will call it the "soul") was
given a body in which to house and support me, along with a brain, in which to protect
me and to help me learn, think, ponder, speculate, and even keep me accountable
in some measure? So, I have a body, I obviously need one and I use it to do
many things, including mobility, vocational, and to take me on great hikes in
the woods. I have a brain that, generally, is very helpful. With it, I learn to
think, talk, converse, study, research, manipulate thoughts, and to somewhat
"tell me what to do." Now, here is the key that has become more and
more clear in the last 5-7 years, and one I share thoughtfully, but carefully.
That sounds so wonderful and should lead to a perfect and happy life, having
such an "assistant". But wait, is it always so? In fact, how often is
life (with my body and my brain (a personal trainer, if you will) perfect and
happy?). In practice, that is a small percentage of the time. Sometimes my body
is not happy. Sometimes my brain doesn't seem too happy. In fact, sometimes my
brain is my worse enemy.
Self-talks, I became interested in this concept in my early
twenties. There are several good books available that discuss self-talks. They
are interesting, and though we all do it, most of us take it lightly or laugh
about engaging in them. But, what if this isn't really a joking matter...why do
we do self-talks? Yes, there are those recorded messages that we play over and
over that, we obtained from a very young age, generally originating with our
parents and sibling, and later with friends or teachers. But the question is,
if my brain is me and not separate from me, then how could I even have a
conversation with myself...and yet, we do, and we do so often? I do not mean to
suggest that our brains are entirely separate from us, but I have come to
conclude that it is more separate from me (my soul) than I had admitted in days
gone by.
Allow me to put all of the cookies on the bottom shelf right up
front to share with everyone, and then I will develop these concepts more and
more as they become clearer to me in my quest of how the brain works, how we
best learn, and why sometimes our brains are NOT our best friend. I am
beginning to conceptualize that we are, indeed, far more of the trilogy of
body, soul, mind, than we really ever considered. It's not just folklore that
we consider plausible but never do anything about. What is the brain is
provided for us and we benefit from its protectiveness? But, we also suffer
from its peculiarities, which include addictions, the need for novelty, and
even the self-critical manner in which it tells us how sorry or pathetic or
less valuable we are than others? Often, I am my worse enemy. Or, am I? Or is
it, possibly, more accurate to say that my brain is my worse enemy? That would
seem very contradictory, would it not? To say that the brain is self-preserving
but then causes me to feel like a pathetic excuse for a human being. Or, to be
hypercritical because of just spilling a bowl of soup on the carpet? Think
about it. My brain often acts like my mother...or worse, my brain acts as the
proverbial army sergeant, barking at me like I deserve no respect.
I do benefit from having a brain (now I sound like the
Scarecrow!). With my brain I have access to thinking (sequentially and sometimes,
even, laterally), I can comprehend, I can store information and memories. I can
avoid some dangers that are pointed out for me. I can be reminded of the
responsibilities I have, places I need to be, and even recall and respond to
people I love or need in my life. I can reflect on the past and contemplate the
future. I can hypothesize, test, and even validate information or events or
concepts, even occasionally in an objective way. My brain is great! Well,
except when it isn't. It can cause me to think thoughts I have never ever
entertained before. Out of the blue can come thoughts that can be quite
surprising or even startling to me. Sometimes, however, I can get a glimpse of
an idea that is outstanding, some that I may even be able to act upon.
One should be able to recognize the dilemma this interaction
between the brain and self can be. One minute it's my best friend and I'm
running to the shop to feed it a chocolate fudge milkshake, then in another
moment it is telling me how stupid I am or how pathetic I am at choosing my
wardrobe, or that I should tell my boss off for her insensitivity to the hours
I am working. Truly...there are times when you have stopped and said, probably
at the end of your rope, "That's enough!" Psychologist and
professor Jordan Peterson made the statement in one of his lectures that we
need to "negotiate" with our brain. What IF my brain and I are not
entirely one and the same? What IF my soul has a great deal of access (and
benefit) from my brain but it is not fully me, and it is more of a
"tool" to help me and could actually serve me?
Let us go back to the idea presented earlier and develop it. The
idea of self-talk. If the brain and I were one and the same, I probably would
find it very difficult to carry on a conversation with myself without it
becoming a laughing joke. But, self-talks are real. The "voice," if you
will, are not uncommon. Some people suppress vocal activity or practice more
than others, but the conversations between my brain and myself (soul) are
numerous each day, and maybe each hour. Sometimes the talks are very
enlightening and sometimes they border on the bizarre. If my brain and I are
one and the same then how can I sometimes be startled by what comes to mind?
Or, what about those times when I have to just stop, take a breath, and say,
"That just isn't so" or "enough of that foolishness, back to the
real world"? It happens. Where the subconscious fits within this realm is
difficult to ascertain. Could the subconscious be more connected to the
soul-portion than the brain-portion?
In bringing Part 1 to a conclusion, it seems logical and pans out
anecdotally that our brain and our soul and body are all quite separate from
one another. Each has a role in serving the soul, the real you and the real me.
Sometimes it serves us well, especially in that it seeks to be
self-preservative. Keeping itself (the brain) alive keeps us alive. However,
not everything that that brain suggests to
us is helpful, and in many instances it hurtful, and in some cases (such as
addiction) it is fatal. What may actually need to be occurring, and which isn't
because we are not really cognizant of thinking of the brain as being a
separate entity, is that we might need to learn how to negotiate with the
brain. We recognize that in business negotiations, win-win is very positive and
helps all parties. Negotiating with our own brain, may, in part, be the key to
a happy and fulfilling life.
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